December 31, 2010

Out with the old.

This year is coming to a close.  What will I leave behind.

The OLD.

Ordinary

Lacking

Doubt(s)

Ordinary-What is commonplace or standard.  With no special or distinctive features; normal.

Lacking-Not available or in short supply.  Missing or absent.  Deficient or inadequate.

Doubt(s)-To be uncertain about; consider questionable or unlikely;  hesitate to believe; to distrust; to fear or be apprehensive about.

I don't want to be ordinary anymore.  I don't want to look like everyone else, act like everyone else, smell like everyone else, talk like everyone else, eat or not eat like everyone else, and I don't want to fit in like everyone else.  OKAY enough said.  I do want to be different.

I don't want to be lacking either.  Especially when it comes to my family.  I want my time spent at home not away.  I want it spent in long strides not short breathes.  I want my family to get what they need from me and not have to wait for it.  I will do my best.

I don't want to bring today's doubts with me tomorrow.  I leave them here.  I don't want to doubt at all.  Jesus help me.

December 22, 2010

New Blog.

I am going to start writing a new blog dealing with spiritual matters that will be a lot deeper than this blog.  Please read and comment on both.  I am interested in your views.  The new blog can be found here:  www.carnalwars.blogspot.com.

December 5, 2010

A Few Days Ago....

I had a vacation from work during the Thanksgiving Holiday.  I was off most of November and had a wonderful time with my wife and son.  

Well, a few days ago I went back to work.  YUCK!!

That night when I came home I was very surprised.  My wife and son had decorated for Christmas!!  They had lights hung outside, a wreath on the house, a Christmas ribbon on the outside door and the inside was decorated too!!  I opened the door to the smell of Christmas cookies in the oven, the sound of Christmas music on the CD player and the sights of presents with my name on them under the Christmas tree!! 

WOW.  It really did me good to see and smell and hear all this in my home.  My wife and son are more beautiful than I can express.  Thank you!!

I hope you begin this season as blessed as I am.  If not, I pray that God will bless you even more than you have been thus far.

November 17, 2010

Moving On. Homebound.

There is always a desire to have more, make more, do more and be more.  Why?  Are we not content with what we have?  Sometimes.  Other times I believe it is the Eternal Life inside our mortal bodies longing for home. 

We were not made to dwell upon this broken earth forever.  Yes, Adam was created here and given authority to rule over all the living creatures.  But, he was made in the likeness of God and without sin in the beginning.  It would have been easy to live in paradise when one was perfect and had no struggles to bear.  Once sin came, he was no longer perfect and could not stay in The Garden of Eden.  Just the same as oil and water will not mix but stay completely separate from each other even when in the same container, sin and holiness can not be in the same place at the same time for both to exist.  One will overthrow the other.  Holiness always triumphs over sin.

In the garden, sin overcame Adam and because the garden was perfect and holy, Adam had to leave.  Adam was told not to eat of the fruit from the tree and he did.  We are like Adam.  We see something we want, we get it no questions asked.  We may have to work more to get the money to buy it, or sometimes we just buy it without thinking of whether or not we can afford it.  Adam could not afford to eat of the fruit and had to pay for it with his life.

Oftentimes I get a homesick feeling for a place unseen.  I think of Heaven and wonder what it is like.  I also think of what it would be like if I was not yet born.  Would I still somehow know God?  Would I be waiting for my time on earth?  I believe we all long for Home.  We all are children.  We all long for comfort and peace.  Even the cruelest people on earth long for freedom. 

I am moving on.  Moving on to a place much grander, more magnificent than the paradise of Adam and Eve.  I am longing for more than a place, more than just a time well spent in a temporary dwelling.  I move on to more than this sudden breath and instant sight.  I move on to Jesus.  Jesus, the Rescuer of my soul.  The maker of all that is.  The Redeemer of all mankind.  He has brought me goodness and joy.  But the joy I have now can't even compare to what will become.

Jesus.  He is who I am moving on to.  Wherever He is, I will be there.  I will follow Him in many places, throughout many times and with much gladness.  We will see new things, old things and things never yet conceived in the brightest and most intelligent minds.  There will be love.  There will be peace.  There will be life lived in such a holy way that sin will be forgotten, anger put aside, wrath turned to mercy and pain turned to comfort.

Sin will be undone in such a fashion that it will seem like it never appeared.  Glorious will be the day we move on.  Truth will be eternal.  Light will be ever powerful.  Grace will be granted and healing will remain.  Everyone who has called on the name of Jesus will be saved.  They will rejoice with singing and dancing and laughter.  There will be a time for silence and a time for refrain.  There will be day.  There will be warmth and there will be hope.   I am moving on.  

Jesus, I am moving on to you. 

November 3, 2010

Me, Myself and I.

I thought I would spend some time talking about my favorite things, my personality, my hopes and dreams, my attitudes and things like that.  Remember most of this will be from my point of view so it may seem a little different from someone else.  But, if that is the case leave me some comments on how you think I am.  Also, please don't be offended at what I say, it's just me.

Lets start with food, we all love to eat!!

Spaghetti.
Any kind of pasta really, but I love thick sauces and bread sticks with mine.

Potatoes....boil them smash em stick em in a stew!!(Thanks Samwise Gamgee)  Oh and french fries with or without ketchup.

Ketchup.  Yep.  I love it.

MEAT.  Any type, beef, pork, fowl and fish, including seafood.  I like but don't eat much steak.  I really like chicken, turkey and duck.  I have had all kinds of fish.  From common fish in a pond to store bought and even sushi.  I do like sushi, it was a challenge at first, but now I could eat it anytime.  I LOVE good fresh bacon.  I am an odd ball, but like it a little chewy and not too crunchy.  Pork chops were my favorite as a kid.  I will eat ham and sausage, but sometimes my body tells me not to.  I wonder if I am from Jewish decent and not suppose to eat pork?!

My wife's homemade chicken pot pie is AWESOME!!!  I wish I could have her make it for everyone to try it is so good.  She will make it for me when I am not well and it does help me recover quicker I believe.  Yummy.

French Toast.   With or without powdered sugar is okay with me.  Love it.

Cereal any kind,  I am a huge kid who likes cereal.

Mexican food.  I really like all kinds.  Fajitas and anything spicy!!!

Chinese food.  I don't have a preference, I just had two different meals one for dinner and one for lunch within 24 hours and I might have some more.  Oh, I am new to Kung Pao Chicken-spicy and I love it.

Do doughnuts and cookies count?  YES, do I need to say more.

OK a food I don't like at all SOUR CROUT  at least that is how I say it.  Yuck.  I actually threw up one time after tasting it. Double YUCK.

OK moving on.

I like cars, truck and especially older classics and antiques.  My dream is to have a late 40's early 50's Chevy Truck.  I would take a late 30's Ford Truck too.  As far as cars go I would like most cars from the 30's through 50's and would like to have a Ford model A or T.

I like playing video games.  Action and adventure and racing.  I have played and replayed all the Legend of Zelda's and really like Ocarina of Time and The Wind Waker.  The Original is still cool!!  I have a Nintendo Gamecube and a Playstation 2.  I actually like the Nintendo even though they quit making games for it when Wii came out.  Playstation game are just too gruesome sometimes and most of my game I would let an eight year old play and not have to worry about content.  Content is a concern in our home.

Movies love them.  We do not watch any rated R movies and always look at the rating and reason for that rating.  I apologize, we do own one rated R movie that I know of The Passion of the Christ.  It is difficult to watch the Jesus you love being beaten for my sins....but we own it to remind us and help us.

Airplanes.  I wanted to be an airline pilot when I was a teenager.  Now I think I would still like to get a private pilots license.  I enjoyed building model planes more that cars.  I have seen some amazing military aircraft up close even.  Like the C-130 Hercules and the F-117 Nighthawk.  When I was looking at the Nighthawk it was guarded by more than one soldier with M-16s!!  I've never been so close to the both at the same time.  My favorite to build was the SR-71 Blackbird.  I had a neighbor who eventually was trained how to fly the U-2 and Blackbird.

PEOPLE:

I like all kinds of people.  I enjoy learning about all the different races and cultures.  When I was younger I was never around many other races because of living in a small community with mainly white people.  Even then all the different type of white people where unique.  My parents friends and my relatives where mainly who I was around until my high school years.

I have met people from all over the world throughout my life and would still like to meet more.  I have met people from England, who actually became friends with my parents when they visited America.  I had foreign exchange student friends from many places such as:  Germany, Japan, China, Hong Kong, Mexico, Brazil, Spain and Russia.  I still communicated with "A" from Germany.  He stayed with one of my friends family.  I work with a woman who is from Germany too.  I have worked with many Japanese men and at my last job had made good friends with about 5.  We would even hang out after work and watch some movies that they brought from Japan.  I enjoyed watching them even though I couldn't understand the language. 
I have also met some people from the CONTINENT of Africa.  I used uppercase there to remind readers that Africa is a continent with many countries, it is not a country itself.  I have a friend from Nigeria and more important than that, my son is from Ethiopia!  I made some friends while there too.  I also met a girl in high school who was from South Africa.
I have a friend from China.  My wife worked with some women from the Philippines and I met them.  I am not sure if I've met anyone personally from Australia, but I like the NEWSBOYS and that is where they are from.

Growing up I had a history teacher that was Jewish.  I enjoyed having him as a teacher.  I was always interested in the traditions of Judaism.  Mainly because of the things I learned in the Bible about the Jewish people.
I had a friend in 5th grade who was Mexican(I love Mexican food too!).  We lived about 3 blocks away and often did homework together.  In high school one of the soccer players was from Mexico and he was quick!!

I took 3 years of French.  Yeah I can't remember how to speak it, but I can still understand most of it when I read it.
I learned some Japanese while working.  I wish I knew more.
I want to learn Amharic, it is the national language of Ethiopia.  My son will learn it too, if I can teach him.
My wife knows some Spanish, and I think she should teach us.  I would learn it.
I would really like to learn Hebrew.  I think it is written beautifully.  See the alphabet here.

I am mostly a quiet person.  I am not loud.  I can be loud, but like peace and quiet.  I am not shy, which is often mistaken for someone who is quiet.  I like life, actually I love life.  I am somewhat of an introvert, but I have very strong extrovert qualities, such as my friendly and welcoming attitude towards people.  I most often trust a person a little before not trusting them at all.  Once trust is established it may remain.  If it is easily broken I try to forgive and hope I never have to deal with the person again.  I am a lover not a fighter.  I also avoid fighting and try to work things out with people quickly.  I am not easily angered, but don't make me mad!!  It takes a lot for me to get mad, I am usually very calm.  I am helpful, i enjoy helping others.  I am neat, mostly.  I do not like to leave messes and only do when I know i am not going to cleanup until the project is totally done.  Of course that is different for wherever I am.  In the car, no messes should be left behind.  At work, no mess.  At home, if it is out of every ones way and only my eyesore, it might be there a while.  I like routine.  I am willing to follow other's routine as well.  I don't do diets, but try not to eat too much at one time.  Dog lover, cats are okay but only outside.  Not afraid of horses anymore, I like riding them and want some in the future.  Hate snakes.  Don't like them.  If I see them before they see me, I am usually not afraid of them.  But now even talking about them I will probably have a dream with a snake in it now and wake up all upset.  NO!! Not a nightmare, just a bad dream!! Ha.  Would love to see a whale up close, and probably pee my pants at the same time!  I believe the Loch Ness monster is true.  Ask me why later, I would like to chat about it.  My favorite bird is the Hawk.  My favorite color is a very deep blue, almost purple.  Maybe closer to Cobalt Blue.  I like rainbows, not the straight ones that are for people who aren't.  (Why is that? Straight rainbows for people who aren't?)  I enjoy the ocean, my wife was the first to show me the ocean.  It was on our honeymoon in Virginia.  I love trees and hills and mountains too.  I love nature. 

My hopes and dreams.  NONE.


Just kidding.
They are few however and most of them have been written in this post.  I am simple.
I would like a career that truly expressed who I was.  Maybe it would be better to express who I am through a hobby though.  I have always wanted to help other countries with building roads and homes and buildings.  Not that I am at all qualified for construction, I barely even use a hammer.  I just want life to be easier for people who have less.  I feel as if they were able to find ways to improve their surroundings maybe life would get easier.  I just hope it doesn't get more complicated like it seems to have gotten in America.  I want to have a vineyard someday, nothing fancy but I love grape juice.  I would like to have a small farm.  I want to restore an old pickup truck and drive it daily.  I would love to have more kids.  I always wanted a two story house with a full basement.  I would like to have a big dog, maybe a Weimaraner and I would name it Shadowfax-like Gandolf's horse in Lord of The Rings.  I would also go for a small dog like a greyhound.
I would like to visit other countries.  So far I have lived in USA.  Been to Ethiopia and stayed about a week.  Also have been to Italy(Rome), but only there about 6 hours waiting in the airport and on the tarmac in an airplane.  I would like to got to Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Japan, England, Italy(and see it), Egypt, Israel, Most other places in Europe, maybe China, maybe parts of South America, and if I am brave enough I would like to see Antarctica.  BRRR.
I would like to go to some states that I have not been to such as Hawaii and Alaska.  Also Florida and California, well actually I guess I want to see the whole world!!! 


Attitudes and opinions:  These are mine and I don't want to offend, be willing to let me know how and why you may disagree.  I will not judge your comments and questions.

Everyone has the possibility to fail.  and lie, cheat, steal, and do wrongful acts towards others.  We all have the choice not to also.  Well, sometimes we don't have the choice to fail, and  it is better to fail than lie, cheat, steal and etc...

Sin is sin.   Truth is truth and there is a difference.  Black is black and white is white(I am not talking about races here).  You can not and should not justify your actions to make things OK.

Racism is wrong.  We are all created by GOD in His likeness.

Man is not God.

Money is not evil, but the love of money is.

Everyone is sinful.  But God is always forgiving.

Is racing a sport?  It shouldn't be.

Jokes are meant to be uplifting, not perverted.

Music is very powerful.

Food is a welcoming item to share with others.

Drinking should be illegal more than smoking.  I don't do either but I believe it causes more hidden problems than people realize.

Abortion is murder.  I am pro life, but even before the term was made up I would of chose life over death.

Being gay is a sin.  Wanting to change is a good choice.  I believe being gay is a choice, you are not born this way.  God forgives sin and will help gay people become what they should be, forgiven and straight.

Sex before marriage is wrong, sex outside of marriage is called adultery and is sin. 

The liberal views are not always truth, conservative views are not always truth...politics yuck...both sides need truth.

Jesus can save anyone.  He can rescue whoever calls upon HIS name.

Prayer is good.  It is powerful.

There is hope.

A good movie is often one to watch with friends or by yourself. 

Good people make good friends, and sometimes good people are still bad friends.

Good friends are those who are still your friends when you disagree.

I could go on for hours...but I must stop before I've lost all my friends.  They are hiding from me.


Well mostly that is Me, Myself and I.  There are years of things I left out, but you get me. 

October 7, 2010

The Stars In The Sky.

WOW!!  Have you ever looked up at dark into the night sky?  It is pretty amazing isn't it.  I really enjoy just gazing at them and thinking...about anything or nothing at all.  It gives me a chance to breathe.  What I have noticed lately is a really bright star in the East.  Well at least East from me.  I want to find a star chart and learn where the main navigational stars are. 

I leave for work before the sun is up and lately I have had some great views of the stars then.  My favorite mornings are when the sky is clear and the moon is full or even almost full.  The moon puts out so much light that it brightens my whole front yard and makes it easier to walk to the car.  To see the moon and the stars in the early hours sometimes makes it a great start to my day.  The only thing is, I don't want to go, instead I want to look at the stars.

You would think that a guy like me who rarely gets lost would know more about the stars.  Well, Orion's Belt is usually the only one I can point out easily.  I used to be able to see the dragon, I am not sure what the real name of that constellation is.  I wonder what it would be like to be on the ocean at night with all the stars in full view.

The place my wife and I used to live was too crowded with city lights to see much, but where we are now is a lot better.  They say that we live in a good area for viewing stars at night in the winter months.  Really though it may be to cold.   Lately here it has been getting cooler and I even had to scrap my window's before work!!  I can withstand most of the coolness right now in early October.

When I was in scouts we had an outing in the middle of February every year.  It was very cold to tent camp then.  Often we would rent an Army supply tent and fill it with hay or straw and sort of huddle our sleeping bags near each other.  Not too close though, we left plenty of room for our packs and walking.  I think the coldest February outing we had was 5 below and it was rough on most of us.  My brother was actually involved in scouts then and he ended up with frostbite on his toes!!  We didn't know it happened until he started walking on the sides of his feet.  I think after that is when he may have quit.

SO, do you like the stars?  Do you have any favorites?  What about constellation?
Here is a cool website that I just found that has some neat things to check out.  You can even get a free sky map.

Remember the most important thing:  God created the stars in the very beginning.  Genesis 1:14-19   14 And God said, "Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years, 15 and let them be lights in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. 16 God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17 God set them in the expanse of the sky to give light on the earth, 18 to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19 And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.

Thank you God for all the stars!

October 5, 2010

Guys, Wash Your Hands!!

Yuck!!  I am not necessarily a neat freak, but I always wash my hands after going to the men's room.  However, I have noticed that some men don't do this simple routine.  After zipping up, walk over to the sink, turn on the water, get your hands wet, put some soap on your hands, rub your hands together, keep rubbing until they at least appear clean and then dry them.  No, not on your dirty work shirt or jeans!!  Oh and by the way, it doesn't matter if you use hot, warm or cold water with soap.  Seriously read about it here: Hand Washing.  Especially the 7th paragraph in the Answer section.

OK.  I went to the men's room.  Another guy came in about the same time and went to the toilet to the right of me.  We both finished and exited our spots but then it happened.  I went to the right past the toilet to go wash my hands in one of the two sinks.  The other guy just turned around and started to exit to the left.  I was in the way.  What I realized next is why I was determined to post this whole story.

As he turned around to exit he was also zipping up.   So there I am about to walk into a guy zipping his pants up.  Awkward!!  I also realized that if he was exiting after zipping he wasn't going to wash his hands.  Some people would think "who cares", but just let me finish.  He is a maintenance man.  He would already have dirty hands from working and didn't clean them first.  Gross.  But even grosser is now that I have washed my hands I will have to grab the same door handle that he just did with his dirty, germ hands.  Again, "who cares" right.  Well how would you like to drink from the water fountain he just touched.  Or better yet, I went to lunch just after this and so did he.  I am just glad I bought a drink this day.  He had to work on the ice and water machine with his bare-or should I say covered in germs-hands.  BLUUHHchhh!


OK.  This guy is married.  He touches dirty things all day when he works.  Doesn't wash before or after going to the men's room.  Then goes home to be with his wife.  I feel sorry for her!!  Please just think of other people and wash your hands.

Oh and then there are the guys who like me have to wear latex gloves when they work.  I always take my gloves off after I open the door to the men's room and right before doing my duty.  Some of the guys, including my coworkers, wear their gloves in do what they need to and leave without ever changing their gloves.  So, not only do I have to touch the handle again, but now the same things that I work with have their yucky men's room germs on them.  I am just glad I have gloves on once I am back in my work area.

For those guys who wear their gloves in and then go.., at least throw your gloves away before you exit the men's room.  I don't care that you want to touch your own self with your work germs, just don't touch me with all the other germs.

Hands are the biggest germ carriers anyway.  Remember the best way to get rid of germs/colds/flu's is to not have them in the first place.  One of the best ways to prevent getting them is to wash your hands.

October 1, 2010

Growing up: Part 4.

Ah yes the wonderful, terrible, exciting but scary teenage years.  Where to start?  Obedience or rebellion?  Following orders, or making my own along the way?  I guess it would be easier to point out that I was a teenager when my dad died.  So, I will start with the years before he died first.

Normal teenager.  Scared of my dad.  Afraid of getting into trouble.  Often tried to talk my way out of trouble.  Get yelled at for being so smart.  Well sound familiar?  Rough years.  I rode the fence and struggled with who I was most of these years.  Even after my dad passed I still remained clueless.

I went to church, Boy Scouts, hung out with my friends and started to like girls!!!  I also discovered some things about girls that could have waited.  No experience, just the common or grossly common phrases and imaginations that teenage hormone raged boys have and share with other boys.  I wanted to know more.  My mind was now constantly on girls and their bodies.  I was so afraid of thinking anything or even saying I like a girl.  I pretty much just kept it to myself and tried to act like I knew what was going on.

Before the topic gets too heated I want to share that even Christians have sinful thoughts.  It is a part of the curse that Adam and Eve brought on to us all.  We live in a fallen world, and it will be this way until Jesus returns.  My mind was so warped with thoughts.  I tried my hardest to focus on the good things and not just on girls.  I am glad I grew up in church.  It helped me be afraid for a long time when it came to stuff like this.  Although I do have to say that the church I grew up in did a poor job of teaching about sex and how it is from God and it is to be between a man and a woman who are married to each other.   I wish that they could of had a special class or something to help both the boys and girls understand this and that it would not be such a hush-hush subject.

Moving on.  I did the same things most boys did.  I remember riding my bike everywhere.  I enjoyed being out with my friends.  I tried chewing tobacco, yuck.  Threw mud on some peoples houses.  Threw corn on people and their cars(also known as "corning"), which is now illegal.  It may have been illegal then too but I didn't know it was so terrible.  OK.  I apologize to everyone I ever corned.  Please forgive me.  Well, I guess I was a little mischievous.  Boy I knew how to fake my parents though.  Hey they were older and didn't seem to catch on. 

So, my brother was 2 years younger than me and I had to take him with me everywhere I went.  That was rough.  Most of the time he caused trouble with my friends and then their parents would say that he couldn't come back.  Sounded OK to me but then my dad would tell me that if he couldn't go then I couldn't either.  Like that's fair.  Actually that is what I used to say.  "Like that's fair!"  I must of sounded like a baby!!  Sometimes my brother would actually be good and things went alright.  Then he would even become their friend and I would become less of one.  Weird, it's like I had to be my brother's personal friend finder!! 

Once I went to high school I didn't really hang out with the same friends and my brother didn't have to follow me around as much.  I wonder if he was sent to keep me out of trouble?  I tried out for a few school sports but didn't really play much.  I played football in eighth grade and soccer my senior year.  I tried out for basketball my sophomore year, and everyone was glad due to my height, but didn't even make the first cut!  I was a little glad.  I didn't really like basketball and often didn't care to shoot hoops with my friends. 

Our church had a boys program called Royal Rangers.  It is a lot like the Boy Scouts, but is more Jesus centered.  After my dad died, I started to lean toward Rangers more and away from Scouts.  I regret it now.  I was just a few merit badges and a service project from becoming an Eagle Scout, at age 16 that was pretty impressive.  This is one of the things in life I would have done different if given a chance.  I think most of my reasons for dropping out of Scouts was that my dad passed away and I didn't have a male influence to keep me going the way my dad did. 

Another factor was that our troop was going through a lot of changes.  The biggest change to me was our scoutmaster was retiring from his position which meant someone else would take over.  His son had just received his Eagle a few years before and was already moving on in life and going to college.  It upset me to loose such a great scoutmaster, all the boys felt this loss but it was especially hard to me.  I was one of the last boys to have known him since being in cub scouts.  Most of the other boys either joined our troop by merging from another troop or were already boy scout age when they joined.  The older ones who had known him through cub scouts like I did were also moving on in life. 

After he left the troop the assistant took over.  He was another great leader, but he wasn't always able to make it due to work.  So, we had to get new leaders.  Our troop going through a leadership change also caused us to go through an even bigger change.  We somehow had to change locations of where we were meeting and this meant a charter change.  To simplify this let me explain:  We met at a church where our scoutmaster was a member.  When he retired, he was no longer our leader.  No one else in our troop were members of the church where we met, so we couldn't keep our charter.  I don't want to blame the church for dropping us, but they could of kept us even if we didn't attend there.

This change of charter and new meeting area, not to mention new scoutmasters, was a lot for a 16 year old boy who lost his father to have to deal with.  I gave up.  The troop number even had to change, which I really hated more than anything.  It was almost like I had to change my name.  So, I took on a new number, gained some new leaders and worst of all had to introduce myself to boys, I mean children, who were barely old enough to be in scouts and made me feel like I was babysitting a bunch of brats!!  No offense to THAT troop, but it wasn't MY troop!

Unfortunately I ended up quiting Boy Scouts, but then I adjusted and started to focus more on the Royal Rangers.  Having all the prior scouting experience I was the number one candidate for youth leadership.  I took on the challenge of being the best leader I could be.  I was the oldest in the outpost-Ranger name for troop-and had also gone to church there the longest.  Rangers gave me a place to stand out and be noticed.  That is exactly what happened too.  I went through the ranks very quickly and soon I became responsible for part of the outpost as a commanding officer.  The Rangers didn't go on as many camping trips, but we were the same guys who were involved in our church youth group so we still had other opportunities of getting out.

I was later appointed to become the Senior Commander of our outpost.  This is the highest level of leadership.  The only I had to answer to was the Pastor of the church.  I guess you could say that this was a ministry I held in the church.  WOW, I think I just realized that just now.  I did have help, I wasn't alone.  There were other men who helped me.  I had at least two others with me every time we met.  The funny thing about this is both of them were older than me by at least 15 years!!  I was only 20 or 21.  My biggest help came from one of the leaders and the youth pastor, who was the pastor's son.  They were both good men. 

My days in both Boy Scouts and Royal Rangers were very good overall.  I faced many challenges and overcame difficult obstacles.  I believe they both impacted my life in ways that helped me become who I am today.  I have been blessed by the things I have been given.  The only thing I lacked would have been a backbone and self-confidence.  You would think that I had these, but what pushed me  more was pride than anything.  I liked the attention and being the center of it at times.  So, I guess you could say that the confidence I had was actually the stuff other people but into me, their own trust.

I have remained a trustworthy person and will continue to be one.  It's just different now.  People who knew me then may not have seen what was on the inside.  The good news is I am older and now have the things I lacked then and I believe my pride is almost vanished.  So, if anyone from my past would meet me, I may look the same, but this time it is true.  I have been graciously hidden from my personal failures and have been given a respectful remembrance of my youth.

I want to conclude this series of "Growing up", but the growing never stops.  I continue to learn, fail, succeed and lose.  But, I will never give up on what God has in store for me.  I believe there is much more to know, less to forget and greater things to see.  I will remain.  I am not here for sorrow, sadness and pain. I am here for joy, strength and hope.  Remember what Jesus said in John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."  We can rest in the peace Jesus gives to help us with whatever life brings.

September 22, 2010

Growing up: Part 3.

THE HOLIDAYS
Don't worry I am almost done "Growing up".  My childhood memories of the Holidays were nice.  My favorites were Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving.  They all revolved around family when I was younger and probably why I enjoyed them so much.  I will start with Thanksgiving as a child.

Growing up Thanksgiving was always enjoyable.  My family would all pack up into my dad's truck and go to my grandma's house.  Several of my mom's side of the family lived on the same street.  The rest lived a few towns over, but a few lived out of state.  Every year all the relatives would show up, even from out of state!  There would be lots of food, of course, and lots of desserts.  Yummy.  I couldn't have a favorite because growing up I just loved to eat as much of everything that I could.  My brother and I would actually see who could eat the most.  There were only a few times one of us would actually get sick.  Really though it was us all having fun.

Us kids, anyone under 18 would all play in the yard until the food was ready.  Sometimes it was cold and rainy so we had to stay in.  Most of the time the guys would all play touch football or just catch.  The girls would play too, but mostly wanted to play tag.  I got along well with all of my cousins.  We were all blessed to have such a good family.  Once the meal was ready we would all wash up and go in to eat. 

My mom usually had us all hold hands and lead us in praying the Lord's Prayer.  I am not sure how she got picked when there were others who went to church too?  Hmm, maybe because she was more vocal about her belief.  Once we all fixed our plates to eat we pretty much took over the whole house.  Most of the older adults and very young kids ate in the dining area.  The others just found a spot on the porch or in the living room. 

Football was always on the T.V. at Thanksgiving and we loved watching.  The adults who weren't watching the games were usually playing some.  Most of the time it was Euchre or other various card games.  My parents always played but would yell in to see what the score was and who was winning. 

After about 3 or 4 hours everyone seemed to get really really tired.  That is when the kids would go for a walk.  Were my grandma lived there was a covered bridge.  It was fun to walk down there with my cousins and hear what they were up to and share the same about us.  When we came back from walking we would always eat more dessert!!  Finally it was time to cleanup.  Most of it was already done when the kids started helping but it was better that way.  We didn't want to be in the way you know.

I think my parents were some of the last ones to leave on Thanksgiving.  It was always dark out when we left and we usually went straight to bed once we got home.  I really enjoyed Thanksgiving as a child, but I have different reasons for loving it now.

Christmas:  Do I need to explain?  It was always a fun holiday.  Even if the weren't very many presents, and some years there were very few, it was always a good time.  My brother and I would wake up early and have to go back to bed.  Then wake up again and keep asking each other if it was time.  Then finally it was time.

We would go to the living room where the Christmas tree was and start opening the presents.  We tried to make sure we watched our parents open their presents too, but it was hard to wait.  After opening presents we had breakfast, which my dad was usually the one who made Christmas breakfast.  Sometimes, if it didn't snow or rain, we would take our new toys outside and play until lunch. 

Christmas lunch was usually at home or at my grandma's again.  If we went to her house, it was only a few of us who lived close.  It was still just as nice as Thanksgiving though.

Easter.  Easter was also a very fun holiday.  We would wake up to having a basket full of goodies waiting for us by our bunk beds.  Sometimes they were full of candy and small toys like cars or marbles.  Other times just candy.  After our small celebration of eating candy we would get ready for Church.  This was fun because we always had new outfits at Easter.  I am not sure if it is more common for girls to get dresses for Easter than boys to get suits, but my brother and I always got new suits.  Like I said in an earlier post we both looked good in our new suits.

We usually went to church earlier on Easter than normal Sunday's.  The church always had a "Son rise Service".  Notice the spelling SON not SUN.  It was important to understand the resurrection of Jesus.  If it wasn't for this, I would not be a Christian.  If God didn't have the power to raise Jesus from the dead, then nothing would matter about all the things Jesus ever talked about.  I will write about this later.

After church we would usually be given a brown paper bag full of peanuts and oranges.  Wait, was that done at Christmas too?  Maybe, but definitely at Easter.  It was fun.  Once we got home and had lunch we sometimes hid eggs for an egg hunt. 

Easter has always been important to me.  I think it is more important to me than Christmas now.  I celebrate them both as the same in a way.  Jesus came to us on Christmas, to live a life that would bring freedom.  On Easter He would raise from the death of punishment on a cross for my(and your)sins.  Yes, it is important to celebrate God's gift of Jesus on Christmas, but isn't it even more to celebrate God's gift of LIFE through the gift of salvation.  They are both free to us to receive, but Jesus had to sacrifice something both times.  One, he had to leave heaven and his place in heaven as king to come to Earth as a baby.  Two, he had to take our ugly sin and the wage of it on his perfect sinless body and be punished for our sin having his own Father turn away and then he would die.  I must move on, even though I don't want too.

Other Holidays that were celebrate at our house would include:  New Years Eve, St.Patrick's Day,  Fourth of July and Halloween.  Of all those I probably celebrate St.Patrick's day the most.  My wife and I have made it a tradition to celebrate it all the time we have been married.  Our anniversary is near it in March.  We always try to find a parade, OH Yeah I almost forgot....Thanksgiving Day Parade was always watched too!!  (On Thanksgiving of course.)  The Fourth of July has always meant something to me, being in Boy Scouts probably gave me reasons.  We would always watch fireworks and sometimes go to the carnival.  One year, at the carnival,  my brother got lost and we had to get the police to help us find him.  He was okay and just a little shaken up.  My parents were very worried though.  I enjoyed those summer nights around the 4th so much.  Those were the days I wish I could relive sometimes.  Maybe as my son gets older I will.  Halloween was not a big deal, but we would just dress up in something quick and do some "Trick or Treat"-ing.  I don't even recognize it as a holiday now.  Some people may disagree, but I don't.  My mom always had decorations up for these holidays and on New Years Eve we would stay up all night just to watch the ball drop.  As I got older, high school years, I would go to the church and we would have a worship service and then we had communion and prayed the New Year in. 

I think it is good to celebrate the holidays.  I don't think there is much more to say about the holidays.  My next post about "Growing up" will probably be my last on the subject.  I will probably write about my teenage years up to the time of meeting my wife. 

By the way, tomorrow is the first day of Autumn.  One of my favorite seasons.

September 18, 2010

Growing up: Part 2.

Well where do I start next.  How about elementary school age years.  I remember all of my teachers from kindergarten through 6th grade.  Something unique about our school was that once I was in 4th grade there were not enough students to have 2 classes like most other schools.  We had the same classmates for 4th grade through 6th grade.  The only things that changed were our teachers and new students.  I think there may have been 1 or 2 who ended moving to another school also.  I really liked my elementary school years.  I had lots of friends and we had lots of fun.  I made a friend in 2nd grade who I continued to be friends with until our high school years.  We still talk when we see each other out and about.  Our last few years of high school we just went two different ways.  Anyway, back to elementary.

I can still remember my first day of kindergarten.  I was so mad at my mom.  We lived close enough to walk to school, so we did.  The only problem was that my mom had me hold hands with the girl next door and took pictures to show all my relatives.  I didn't even play with her, just her brother.  He was a year older than me and she was only about 3.  So you can only imagine a 5 year old boy on the first day of school having to hold hands with a little girl who he thought was just a snotty nosed little brat of a girl.  Yeah, I hated it!  Well life went on and I accepted the fact that my mom and big sister thought it was "cute". 

It was in kindergarten when I first realized that school was actually a good thing.  I was able to spell and count.  I thought I was on top of the world.  I was proud to bring home all S's and a good report.  The only thing negative out of all this is that I grew proud of my grades and then became lazy with my school work in junior high.  Back then kindergarten was a half day long.  My mom was still a stay at home mom at this time so she would often pick me up from school.  My brother was usually with her. 

The next few years I continued to learn and grow, and grow and GROW.  By 6th grade I was already taller than my mom who was around 5'7''.  I think I out grew my dad in 8th grade at 6 foot even.  I remember my 6th grade teacher mentioning to me near the end of the year that she was amazed at how fast I grew in her class.

Okay, my favorite teachers were my 2nd grade teacher, a man we will call Steve.  My fourth grade teacher we will call Mrs. I love all people.  She really did.  She was such an amazing woman and I couldn't wait to be in her class.  She would pray every morning and we would say the pledge to the flag every week.  She was an encourager also.   Finally my 5th grade teacher, Coach.  He was the Jr/Sr high cross country coach.  He was the one who introduced the class to the amazing COMMODORE 64.  The first computer I ever saw at school.  He was strict when it came to homework too.

I remember my first best friends and the guys who I would play football with on recess.  My first time hearing a kid my age cuss.  My first experience with chewing tobacco.  Oh by the way, don't swallow it!!  I didn't try it too many more times, and I never did have a habit of it.  I remember all the great field trips and the different activities we did in class.

I enjoyed the weekends and summer break.  I would ride my bike over to my friends house and we would just have fun doing whatever.  I did somethings I regret because I am sure it didn't look good to my friends who weren't Christians.  Sorry guys.  I never had fights with any of my friends, but some of the older brothers really picked on us.  Meanies!!!

My summer breaks after I was about 8 years old(when my dad had his heart attack), were kind of busy.  My brother and I had to weed the garden for about 2 to 3 hours every other day.  I am glad I learned that discipline because it has helped me now with my own family's garden.  We also had to help him split and stack fire wood.  Once he had his heart attack, he could no longer go back to work.  This was before the laws allowed a person with health issues to work.  That was a lot of work for two little boys.  He was such a hard working man.  I often wondered if he was too hard on us.  Oh well.  I turned out okay and it has paid off. 

We also had to cut, or mow lawns and weed eat for several people.  I can remember waking up about 7 am, eating breakfast that our dad made(always something hot), and either being in the woods cutting up trees or mowing a lawn by 8:30 am!!  This would continue until about 1 pm when we would come home and eat, or stop on our way home and get a treat at a fast food place.  We would then spend until about 4 or 5 pm in the garden or stacking the wood from earlier.  I should note that we usually brought several truckloads home in the morning and then split and stacked them that night.  After dinner, usually 5:30 or 6pm we were free to roam until dark, usually about 8:30 or 9pm.

Of course a lot of the stuff about splitting wood was done by our dad, we just had to get it and stack it.  My dad would often times bring loads of wood with us whenever my brother and I would go camping with the Boy Scouts.  I think I joined in 5th grade.  I enjoyed the scouting.  It taught me a lot about serving others and being a better person.  My brother didn't stay with it as long as I did, but he tried. 

The Boy Scouts of America is really a great organization.  I plan on taking my son to Cub Scouts or even Tiger Cubs when he is old enough.  I made a lot of friends through this area and learned a lot of things I never would have learned at home.  Some of the things that I remember most was weekend camping once a month and a week long summer camp.   My first time camping with no tent was a little scary though.  It was part of an initiation to join a fellowship of campers, aka Order of the Arrow

I should probably stop here for now.  My next "Growing up" post will be about the Holidays.  Yeah!

September 14, 2010

Growing up: Part 1.

Do you remember what life was like as a kid?  How about as a teenager or young adult?  I remember good times and bad times.  I thought I would spend some time talking about my life to this point and maybe it would help you understand  a little more of who I am today.  No, this isn't an autobiography, but if it's good enough maybe it should be.

One of my earliest memories was going to my baby sitter's house next door while my parents went to the hospital to deliver my brother.  We are two years apart.  Other than family pictures to help me remember things I don;t recall much.  I do remember that my sister and her best friend taught me how to walk!!  Thanks sis.

OK. So let's start around preschool age, say three or four.  I was lucky, or unlucky according to some viewpoints, to have gone to daycare for a year and preschool at the same place the next year.  We only lived three blocks away, so my mom would always walk us.  I remember meeting new kids and making friends was easy then.  The teachers/daycare workers who worked there were sisters.  One of them lived across the street from us and my parents were friends with her.  I can remember playing outside in the playground and taking naps.  Also watching cartoons and of course learning.  I believe preschool is when I learned how to tie my shoes.  This age was full of learning and growing, but I also remember other things.

We lived next door to a church.  Actually it was across the alley to the south of us.  My mom would always dress me and my brother up in dress pants, dress shirts and shoes.  Sometimes she would put ties on us.  I wore a bow tie most of the time.  We usually got new outfits for Easter and Christmas.  I grew up in church.  Back then we would go to "Sunday School" before the main church service.

I learned most of the basic bible stories then like:  David and Goliath, Noah's Ark, Daniel in the lion's den, the story of Zacchaeus and of course Jesus' birth.  I think I might do a few posts later about these stories for anyone who is interested.  I will try to keep it simple but relevant to the truth.

I enjoyed dressing up for church.  My brother always dressed up too, but probably only because i did.  I tried to take care where i  walked and not step into anything with my dress shoes.  Not him, mud puddles look out!!  He didn't care about his clothes then, maybe I cared too much.  Anyway we looked good!

Often when we came home from church my dad would have lunch ready for us and be watching some old western with John Wayne in it.  I don't think I will ever forget those days.  He loved westerns and old army movies.  He introduced us to "It's A Wonderful Life" and it is still my favorite Christmas movie of all time.  My wife and I always have watched it together every Christmas Eve since dating.  It is such a good movie.

I remember that my dad loved to cook.  He cooked all the time.  He could make anything out of nothing.  As my brother and I got older we didn't like some of his concoctions though.  I did love his roast.  It had the best potatoes and carrots.  YUMMY!!

I guess I should explain my family setup a little bit before I get too far ahead.  I am from a family of five:  mom, dad, older sister, me and my little brother.  So, I am a middle child.  Well, yes and no.  According to birth order I am a middle child. But, there are nine years(yes I said 9)between my sister and me.  I have first born qualities and middle child alike.  I read somewhere that it only takes six years or so for a second child to have the firstborn characteristics.  I'm sure I have an edge being the first male child born too.  I tend to lean toward the middle child qualities in unique ways and often have first child strengths to back it up.

You my wonder,"Nine years between kids?".  Were my parents nuts?  I won't answer that here, ha ha.  Actually they were married ten years before having my sister and then me nine years later.  Two years after me my little brother shows up.  Imagine being married twenty-one years before having your third child.  Having older parents growing up was a little difficult.  It was good most of the time.

When I was about eight years old I can remember my dad trying to quit smoking cigarettes.  He had smoked them since before he was old enough to drive.  The rumor is that he was driving his dad's log trucks at age five!  I don't know if this is true, but I did feel bad for him.  He struggle so bad at times and often got very upset.  I wanted to help him stop.  So, I decided that I would pray for him. 

I remembered the story of JOB and how he lost everything, but still wouldn't curse God.  The devil, Satan, actually asked God for permission to try to make Job fail and sin against Him.  God had so much faith in Job that he told Satan he could do whatever he wanted to him as long as he didn't kill Job.  Job lost his family, his friends, his animals, he was deathly sick and still didn't curse God. 

One day I remember praying to God.  I prayed that He would do anything he could as long as my dad wouldn't die to get him to stop smoking.  Well, here is where the story gets a little bumpy.  Not long after I had prayed, maybe just a few weeks, my dad had a heart attack!  YIKES!!  He survived the attack and quit smoking "cold turkey".  I was so amazed.  I still think that God answered the prayer of an eight year old.

My dad lived another eight years after that before dying at 54.  He had some serious health issues.  He had high blood pressure, high cholesterol, diabetes and even was put on oxygen.  Before he died, he had around seven heart attacks.  Three major ones and the rest were minimal.  He was doing a test one time at the hospital when the nurses forced him to stop moving and lay down, claiming he just had another heart attack.  He told them he didn't even feel a thing.  My dad was a big man.  He was obese.  He was six foot tall and easily weighed about 280 pounds.  His temper, stress and stubbornness was surely a big part of his bad health.

I was 16 when my dad died.  He was in the hospital undergoing several tests on his heart to prepare him for a heart transplant.  He never got one....at least not on earth.

Like me, my dad also grew up in church.  But, my dad chose a different life when he got older.  I am not sure when he stopped going to church, but it was before any of us kids were born.  My mom always told us that he used to sing in the choir as a boy and it was only a few years ago that I found out his own dad was a pastor.  I never met my dad's dad.  I heard that what turned my dad off to church was the things he saw at church growing up.  He claims to have seen some of the old men actually drinking(alcohol) in the back while the preacher was preaching.  Strange thought, he ended up drinking when he got older and when he was diagnosed with diabetes he quit cold turkey to that too.

I'm sure a lot of Christians do bad things.  I know I have and do some bad things from time to time.  I just wonder why we justify things for ourselves and criticise and judge others?  I think if I saw someone having a drink at church at first I would be shocked and think they are rude.  But, then I would be glad they had the boldness to go and be in church and hopefully they might hear from God and become free.(I feel a whole other blog post coming on!!)

So to finish off my first installment of "Growing up", I must say that life has its ups and downs for everyone.  We are all the same, but uniquely given different trials to face.  If you look to Jesus you will find light.  If not...then darkness will rule over you.  A few days before my dad died, he asked Jesus to save him, or in other words, he gave his life back to Jesus.  He trusted Jesus enough to call on His name and be rescued from the wage of sin.  In turn, Jesus did give my dad a new heart.  When my father died, he met his maker and was welcomed with the open arms of Jesus.

Romans 6:23 says:
 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. NIV

September 9, 2010

Navigating Through Life

I am North.  I am a Christian man, husband to one, father to one and follower of one.  I desire to communicate the freedom in Jesus through this blog through stories, thoughts, desires and dreams of everyday life.  Join me in trying to bring insight and joy to others as we navigate through life.